MENTAL ILLNESS DOESN’T STOP FOR CHRISTMAS

Christmas is meant to be a happy time of year for everyone. However, this is not always possible when you live with a mental illness. Depression cannot differentiate between birthdays, Christmas, or any other day in fact. Depression doesn’t give you a day off just because everyone else is feeling happy and festive. Mental illness doesn’t stop for Christmas. It is important to make the people who will be surrounding you aware of how you are feeling (or how you could be feeling) in the run up to Christmas.

It’s a sad fact that people suffering from mental illness often don’t get the same access to services or quality of care as people with physical diseases and already underfunded mental health services have seen significant cuts over the last few years. Furthermore, mental health research receives only a fraction of the funding given to research into other long-term diseases.

Whether you have a mental health condition or not, it is important to take time to look after your mental health at Christmas and reflect on how you are feeling. The following strategies will help you manage mental health over the Christmas period.

Acknowledge your feelings

There is a lot of pressure to be happy during the holiday season, but that doesn’t mean you have to suppress negative feelings. Your mental health always comes first at Christmas. Allow yourself to feel those moments of sadness, anxiety, grief or loneliness. Remind yourself that depression and anxiety ebb and flow like the tide, and that these feeling will pass.

Set boundaries

The pressure of living up to the expectations of what your friends and family want to do for Christmas can be exhausting. Think about what you want to get out of this holiday season and plan your time accordingly. Set manageable boundaries surrounding what events you attend, how long you stay and what activities you participate in. Remember it’s okay to say no. Your wellbeing and mental health at Christmas are more important than attending events out of obligation, guilt or tradition.

Know your triggers

For people with a mental health condition, the holiday season can be a very triggering time. Larger crowds at the shops, family members asking intrusive questions, and general stress and exhaustion can all trigger anxiety, panic attacks and depressive episodes.

It is important to be aware of your triggers and have a strategy to avoid them. Going to the shops at an off-peak time, sitting at the other end of the table from particular family members and taking time out to rest can help.

Take time for yourself

As soon as those first Christmas bells ring, all the annual social, work and family events come rolling out of the woodwork. Although it’s good to kick back and relax with friends, don’t forget to take some time for yourself. Allowing time to recharge will be a major stress relief for your mental health at Christmas and help you better enjoy your planned events.

Nothing is perfect – don’t expect too much!

There’s bound to be at least one flare up over the holidays. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself for everything to be perfect. It’s normal to have different views and if you do clash over something, try to ‘dig deep’ and forgive quickly – everyone has been under pressure, so it’s not surprising that tempers may become a little frayed. The key is for us all to try to be extra kind and understanding and find that middle ground if we can.

If you have a family member or friend who struggles with their mental health over Christmas, there are a number of supportive measures you can take;

Be patient and don’t blame them: “Someone with depression may get irritable or act withdrawn, they might not want to take part in Christmas festivities, they may need reassurance in some situations, for example attending social gatherings, and you may need to be patient with them. You should try not to blame your friend or family member for not wanting to take part in Christmas festivities… avoid telling them to ‘pull themselves together’ as it’s possible they are already blaming themselves.

Get talking

It doesn’t hurt to raise the subject yourself. Sometimes you don’t have to explicitly talk about mental health to find out how they are doing – it can be as simple as texting them to let them know you’re thinking of them, inciting them out for coffee or dinner or going for a walk.

Alcohol in moderation

While a bit of alcohol can make you feel relaxed, don’t forget that drinking too much can leave you feeling irritable and low. Drinking within the recommended guidelines means you’ll get to enjoy a Christmas tipple, while reducing the negative effects on your mood. Alcohol can also play a big part in arguments and disagreements, so it’s sensible to drink in moderation.

Christmas alone

If you’re spending Christmas alone, have a think about what you want to do beforehand. You may decide to curl up with a favourite movie, book yourself a getaway or arrange to go to a lunch.

Volunteer

It’s no secret – giving something back can help you feel good about yourself and there’s no more perfect time to volunteer than around Christmas.

Around 25% of the UK’s population find the festive period to be more challenging compared to the rest of year. Research by YouGov found that 19% feel a fairly negative impact at Christmas time with a further 7% feeling a very negative impact.

As the year draws to a close, it seems inevitable you may want to reflect on the past year. Reflecting on what you have achieved will undoubtedly make you feel pleased and happy. People with depression and low self-esteem may feel better about themselves by reflecting on these positive experiences.

However, reflecting on the negatives, particularly if the previous year has not met expectations can exacerbate feelings of under-achievement or worthlessness.

Social comparisons can also be a problem when comparing your experiences to those shared by friends and family on social media. We tend to make comparisons and it can often seem that our friends are more successful, more productive and generally happier than we are. These comparisons create an unrealistic impression and can be very harmful to your mental health.

Managing grief during your first Christmas without a loved one

If you have lost someone close to you over the past year, your first Christmas without them is likely to be difficult. It’s OK to struggle with grief when someone dies, especially at a time of year that involves gatherings. However, it’s important you understand that you are not alone and know where to find support.

It can be difficult to know how to support someone who is grieving. Many of us fear saying the wrong thing and offending or upsetting them. We worry about getting in their way or becoming emotional in front of them ourselves.

It’s important to get in touch with them and check in, even if you just send a text message. Let them know you are thinking of them. As well as offering your own words of comfort, it’s equally as important to be a good listener. They might be finding it hard to open up about something so raw and personal. They might also just want someone to vent to or recall memories of their special person. Don’t try to talk over them or tell them how they should feel. Be patient with them. It may be difficult for them to ask for help at this time of year, so let them come to you when they are ready.

Whether you have made prior arrangements or not, ultimately, what matters is doing what feels right for you on the day. If you would prefer to be alone or only see or speak to a small number of people, others will understand. Likewise, if you want to keep Christmas as traditional as possible so things feel more familiar, that is all right too.

There is not one way to grieve and you are not doing it ‘wrong’ if you have a different Christmas to what others might expect you to.

If it all gets too much

Take a few deep breaths – breathing in to a count of 7, and out to a count of 11. This will stimulate your body’s natural relaxation response. Acknowledge the physical sensations and emotions that accompany your stress, but don’t worry about them or focus too much on trying to change them. Know that they, like Christmas, will eventually pass.

It’s OK not be OK at Christmas

What we all have is hope. Hope that things will get better, and that even if we’re at our lowest, all we have to do is get through the day, and when the sun comes up tomorrow the world might look a little bit different.